The first time I ever ate a Snickers bar (then called Marathon) or experienced the tongue-tingling crackles of Moondust. Suddenly it all came flooding back fizzle sticks and golly bars, peggy’s leg and gobstoppers. I had completely forgotten that story until I read You’ll Ruin Your Dinner, Sweet Memories of an Irish Childhood by Damian Corless. Such was the incredible power of sweets in 1970s Ireland. It was unthinkable that chocolate would ever be wrong, or advertising lie to us. I even managed to eat enough dinner to divert suspicion, however sick I felt, because to do otherwise would have been chocolate blasphemy.
Somehow I convinced my mother of the same thing. Solemnly I watched as she divided the bar, nibbled bravely at my share of it and then, with the power of mind over matter, declared that I was now completely empty. ‘If we eat this between us, it’ll make room in our stomachs and we’ll be ok.’ Her logic was impeccable. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said, ‘I bought this just in case.’ She produced a Milky Way bar, the sweet you could eat between meals without ruining your appetite. Therese nodded solemnly and reached into her coat pocket. ‘Will you be able to eat your dinner?’ Therese asked as we waddled slowly home. Never mind ruining my dinner, I was in serious danger of being sick. All the expensive sweets and chocolate bars that I’d never tried because they were, in my mother’s opinion, ‘for grown-ups’ were bought that day, shared and sampled. ‘You’ll ruin your dinner.’ Despite this warning, we bought up the entire shop. ‘Don’t stuff yourselves,’ my mother warned. One week Therese came into some money and declared to my mother that she was going to treat me on our way home. Every week I would endure the lesson (I was not blessed with grace) and then run to the tiny sweetshop on the corner to spend whatever few pennies I’d managed to cadge together. She was ten, older and infinitely more sophisticated. When I was five years old I used to walk to my Irish dancing class each Saturday with Therese, a friend and neighbour. National Emerging Writer Programme Overview.
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